I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
