just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
