the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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