two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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