If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
