I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
