I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
