Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just found puke in my bra..
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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