the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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