it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
please come you make the beer taste better
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
