Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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