This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
