i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
farters have to be the big spoon...
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
