I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
