She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize