K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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