i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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