Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
