Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
