That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I need to sanitize my soul.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
