Don't you send me to vm
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i think my mom watched the whole time
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
