I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize