if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
