she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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