At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
