My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I just googled if crying burns calories
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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