Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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