North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
