I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
