you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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