Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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