So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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