the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
NoShamevember. You game?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
