Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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