:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
