Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
we're making bets on your personal life
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
did i walk over a car last night?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
