I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
