I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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