hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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