He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
