Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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