I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize