walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Houston, we have a blender
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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