Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
