and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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