I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Randomize
