the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
