I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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