we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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