I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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