PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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