I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
