If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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