Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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