you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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