So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
