Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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