I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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