im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
