so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
